Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
