i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
