Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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