Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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