Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
