In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
