Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
