I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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