i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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