Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just high enough for therapy.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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