So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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