ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
