problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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