no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize