Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
