Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
