if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
