woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
