This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
