Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
