I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
