everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
