dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize