i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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