Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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