apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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