nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
