do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
