how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
