My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish you could order shots online.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm at about main and main street
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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