ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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