i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
