I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
