he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
