She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
