also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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