Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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