Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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