I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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