Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
