Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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