Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
