You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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