I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
