soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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