saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
