So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
