No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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