My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
