would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
