just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i dont even know how to be here
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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