he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
