Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We're too hungover to prance.
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