Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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