I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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