Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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