I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
