Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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