..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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