i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
