Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
