Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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