9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
two words: eviction party
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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