I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
