Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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